Tag Archives: birthday

More cars and Birthday weirdness

So. Psycho Momia’s Car went batshit crazy again in the middle of last week. I continued to have issues with Emmy (my car…). The replacement shift cable I got was a poorly made, not suitable for it’s intended purpose piece of dung. It bends where it shouldn’t, and therefore leaves you not able to shift out of first, third or fifth. I got a replacement ordered, picked it up, and installed it over the weekend with a modification (ok, a hack) that should allow it to function properly for long enough to be able to get the 3x more expensive factory part. Being as Psycho Momia’s car is possessed, her exorcismrepair must come first. Hers could be something as simple as an exposed connection, or as bad as a new computer. I dunno which.

Because of the aforementioned car snafus, I spent most of my birthday troubleshooting, running errands, and in a panic. Not the best way of celebrating. My neighbors, Tony and Stacey, did deliver a wonderful gift – 2 fancy beers in the large economy size. I have not yet been able to appreciate the gifts in full, but I will soon!

On Saturday, a friend of Psycho Momia’s came to visit and help us regain momentum on the attic project. I wish I could say I was as gung-ho as he was to do it, but I can’t. We did get an amazing amount of work done, and got most of the rest of the materials we needed, thanks to his giant work truck. Given that we are in the midst of a heat wave, I’m damned surprised that we got as much done as we did, with no one dying or anything.

Halfway through the day, another friend popped by for a while. This was a good thing, as I don’t get to see Alx much. It also overwhelmed, shocked and all around fucked me up. He handed me an envelope, and said “I’m not very good with cards, but Happy Birthday!” In the envelope was a check. For $1000.00. For a grand. I sat down before I fell down. “I can’t – I can’t accept that, Alx – it’s way too much!” and there began the argument. It continues. I called him yesterday, and he picked up the phone, saying, “we’re not speaking until you deposit that check” and hung up on me. I called him back, and told him I burnt the thing. I was joking – but the thought had crossed my mind.

It’s a grand gesture, and I very much appreciate the thought, and friendship behind it, but …

Any thoughts, friends?

Long time no talk

Yeah. So, many things happening. Some good, some not so good. We have some financial issues that in part are my fault. Things that “slipped through the cracks” and are now catching up and kicking me in the nuts. These have consequences, and I’m dealing with them. Dealing with red tape and bureaucratic bullshit saps the will to live right out of me.

Housing issues – no, we aren’t moving, nor is there problems finically there. It’s just the constant struggle to find the ways to make time to make the improvements and repairs that are needed. And then there’s the whole insurance thing. Due to some weirdness of the insurance companies, we have two policies on the property – one for each dwelling. They used to be on the same carrier – but the Carrier decided that since we had 2 claims in 7 years (small ones, too) – that they only want part of our business, and that they’d cancel the fire insurance on the back house. WTF? They still have full insurance on the main house, and liability on the back house, but I have to deal with a different carrier for fire. I don’t get it.

I guess maybe I was wrong about the whole point of having insurance.

The same curses I lob at those fine folk are also being thrown at the medical industry. Bunch of cheats, liars and thieves.

I’ve come to the conclusion that while I have a plethora of skills, they are mostly not salable. I have a ton of useful knowledge, a decent set of brains, and a good set of hands. What I lack is the ability to sell myself in a beneficial manner. Worse yet, I lack the desire to do so. I like to show what I can do, I like to do what I can do. Getting someone to buy it? Not so much.

Psycho Momia and I have been suffering a bit on the intimacy scale as well. This has it’s roots in several places. One is the time factor. Generally speaking, We just ain’t on the same schedule. I think we’ve had one day off together in the last six weeks – and that was smallest ones birthday. Another root stems from the aforementioned situation with the red tape. PArtially from the fact that dealing with these people (and I use that term loosely) makes me loathe humanity in general, and partially from knowing I screwed the pooch so badly. Kind of tramples the self worth, ya know? And then there’s the purely physical aspect. Suddenly, I am hyper aware of the fact that I’ve gotten more than a bit bulgy about the midsection. Don’t like it, but like the idea of going to the gym far less. I may start riding a bike soon – if I can find the time to do so. I need to start exercising – and I don’t want to. I’ve never been the kind of person who wants to do it just for the sake of it.

On top of all that, I am about to turn 40. Which is leading to all sorts of introspection. I’m pretty good at not comparing myself to others, and only holding myself up to my own light. But, my light is fucking harsh. And I have in part become a grumpy curmudgeon. And I don’t much like that, so I’m changing it. I ain’t about to become all sweetness and light, but I will be more tolerant and upbeat, dammit!

One part of the 40 thing is I wanted a big ass party. I figured that I deserved it, because on the whole, I’ve done alright with the hand I was dealt to start. So I get myself all excited about the idea, and start telling folks about it. I sent out a massive email, contacted folks on the various social networks, etc. Psycho Momia and I start talking about it, and then we got hit with a couple of eye opening, bowel loosening accounts due. As responses began to come in, I was running about a 65% “sorry, can’t make it” rate – including folks who had confirmed previously. Which didn’t help. At All. So I canceled it. Screw it, I thought. I’ll just sulk. I don’t need to have a party with lots of people.

The amazing thing? And the thing which will end this on a good note? The sheer number of folks who responded to the cancelation emails with concern. Thank you folks (you know who you are) for caring. And I’ll be better, doc as soon as I am able!
(can anyone guess what song that line comes from?)