So a friend of mine just asked for some “guy advice” of that wonderful home of dramallamas – live Journal. I wrote her a response that is probably the best thing I’ve written in quite a bit. Perhaps this means the writing part of my brain is going to start up again.
Lesse here…We have someone with (and I paraphrase here…) too much shit going on to contemplate a relationship with you – even though he’s having one. Guy number 2 is friend who cares about you, is willing to spend time with you, and wishes to “deepen” his relationship with you. Gent #3 is a great guy, etc but is new to the picture in *that* aspect.
One idea that comes to mind is get one one of those super duper blenders, and mix’em all up!
On a more serious note, who says you have to choose? None of them (AFAIK) have asked you to be monogamous, nor have you agreed to be.
What *I* think is that we have a classic case of the unattainable becoming more desirable because of that qualification. When you were getting all “Mystickal” (HA!) with number 2, how much time did you spend on feeling #1? When you wrote the email to number 3, did it occur to you that number one might not like it?
Unless you have a burning need to be in a mono relationship with one of these guys, I would say to continue to date them all. They each have something to offer you, or they wouldn’t be there. And…if number one truly has interest in you, and isn’t filling you with philosophical bullshit, and has an microgram of testosterone in him, it may just goad him into action. Men, as a rule, loathe competition when it comes to women folk. We like to think (even if it’s to ourselves) that we are the top of the pile – and the phrase – “oh, I’d love to, but I’m already booked with Mr X that night” knocks ya right off the top. Which in turn, if you are in his heart, will goad him into action faster than an interrupted hand job.
That’s just my two cents.