Tag Archives: SAH dad

What Value hath a Man?

Feeling a bit low. Made the Mistake last night of actually looking at my pay-stub – just under 50% of it gone to deductions. (Taxes, 401k, insurance, etc.) The main reason I work is that I carry all the insurance for the Family – except Psycho-Momia‘s medical. That shit is ridiculously expensive, and we have have fairly good deals. I feel bad for other folx, who might not have as good of benefits.

But still, the non-tangible “pay” of benefits, and knowing that it’s important to have them, doesn’t help the alpha-male “provider” side of me. When I see that my take home pay is roughly a quarter of Psycho-Momia‘s, it’s like a symbolic kick in the balls. Which, I might add, is the worst way to rochambeau someone. Physical pain goes away…

In the day to day, it feels like I work so much, that I never get to be at home with both the girls and Psycho-Momia at the same time.

I am a conflicted man. I have the drummed in values of an older time, where the “man of the house” brings the money, and supports his family, while the “lady of the house” takes care of home, hearth, and kinder… those things are deep within me after years of social indoctrination. Kind of in the monkey brain. Logically, I know that it’s bogus – but it’s very hard to grasp it emotionally…..

Quick Post script: I understand that the previous may not make sense. I am experiencing the much dreaded “clopen” wherein you “Clo”se the store, and then o”pen” the store the next morning. Therefore, I have gotten about 4 hours of sleep since 6 yeaterday morning.

A Little heart breaking…

Setting the scene:
On our way back from the Local Big Chain Pet Supply Store, where we had just inquired after a cat in need of adoption. The whole famn damily in Psycho-Momia‘s ride (because Tattooed Dad‘s car is too small to comfortably fit all of us in). Oldest daughter and MBW (AKA Psycho-Momia, in case you were confused) are discussing the options for dinner. “Momma, I wish we could go out for dinner.” “I’m sorry, honey, we don’t really have the money for that today” sez Psycho-Momia. Oldest daughter: “Awww, I wish we did. Momma, I’ll give you some of my monies, and then we can go…”
Tattooed Dad smiles and cries a bit.
Smiles because even though she doesn’t really have a grasp of money or value, she does know what’s hers, and was willing to share it.

Cries because you shouldn’t have to say no to a simple request like that.
It’s one of the challenges that comes with the decision to keep the kids at home and only work part-time. You simply don’t have the jing jang to spare for frivolous spending like that.

(may I take a short moment here and remind you of the little store link above? Thank you….)

Other things that are challenging are getting to spend enough time with your partner. You end up trying to cram a weeks worth of idle talk, important things, and intimacy into Just a few hours. Not the best situation for the adults.

I’ve come to realize over the last few years, that the best routes for raising children require massive sacrifices from the parents. And that, I think is the reason for so many people taking the “easy way out” and dumping their kids into day care. Day care is easier than giving up the weekly hairdo and tanning salon, or the season tickets to whatever bread and circus they subscribe to.

Fuck’em. I’ve made the right choices, of that I’m sure.

Speaking of that, Ray – I commend you on you career change and choice. You too, Linda for supporting that.

Anyway….

Until next time, I’ll leave you with a teaser…
Damn Squirrels!

Sometime soon, there may just be a way for you to get something for free from me.
Stay tuned, my faithful readers (all 3 of you….)

A vacation part deux

So, to continue, The girls decided that it was time to push all boundaries. The fun part was always what happened when we held firm. Smallest child is in the hitting phase, and packs a mean left! She has decided that since oldest daughter never had the “terrible twos”, she’s gonna get us twice as bad. Favorite phrase? “No way!” said with an almost valley-girlish inflection. After I cut down the aforementioned tree, she ran about shouting “Tree….Crash!” Yes, she does speak in exclamation points. Her vocab is growing exponentially , as is the case at her age. She refuses to keep her shoes on, and has learned to remove her own diaper. That one is kinda scary…

PM and I did not manage to get away as I had to arrange, way back when. Money is always a factor in these things.

So, how did we deal with temper tantrums and hissy fits? Mostly, we laughed. A child acting out wants attention, wants YOU to be as upset as they are. Laugh, and the situation defuses fairly quickly. Afterwards, be sure to talk to them and reassure them that you understood that they were upset, and that you laughed because they looked funny or some such appropriate thing.