Tag Archives: funny

Farts are always….Musical?

So there we are sitting down at dinner, and Oldest Child rips one. Makes the table shake – she makes a dad proud.
Psycho-Momia asks her if it was she that made that eye watering gas bubble. I forget OC’s response, but for some ungodly reason, my parental censor was off, and I responded with: “No, butt trumpet!”
A withering look from Psycho-Momia, “Are you sure that’s something you want her to learn?”

And then the real fun began.

OC comes back with “No, Dada, butt tuba!” I couldn’t help myself – I began sniggering. SHe continued on with a list of instruments for the whole family. She ended with “Mama – you have a xylophone up your butt!”

I left the room then, and melted into a puddle of mirth.

Oh, and that xylophone….
I didn’t put it there.

Tealights, and crowbars.

Things have been a bit chaotic, not leaving me much time to think, let alone write.
Both wee ones caught a cold that made them hack and cough a lot. And I do mean a lot. I thought Oldest girl was going to bring up a lung yesterday. She seems better today. The only thing that seemed to help her yesterday was some good old fashioned Luden’s Wild Cherry cough drops. I suspect some whiskey might have also helped, but we are fresh out.
Some old school remedies still work well.

Dealing with stinkin’ mice. Every couple of years, a family of them decide to move in (a downside to having a 117 year old home). These little buggers are making my head hurt this time around, though. In the past, we’d find them in the pantry – no surprise there.
This time around though, we’ve caught them in the bathroom vanity, eating soap. Do you know what soap does to a mouse? Let’s just say soap works very well as a mousey laxative.

But then, it got worse. We have a built-in china cabinet. It has a cupboard on the bottom, which we use to store thing like champagne glasses, candle holders and candles.
Last year, we bought a giant bag of tea-lights from IKEA. 100 of them. The rodents have now eaten about 30 of them – including large portions of the aluminum cups.
Just how defective or desperate does a mouse need to be to eat metal?

Heard a story on Wait! Wait! about some guy in Seattle who went to buy a crowbar at Home Despot. He went to use the “self checkout”, and had a really poor experience doing so. Now, I’m not saying it wasn’t user error, but I think we have all had that moment – “this thing is really pissing me off! Oh, what’s this? I have a crowbar in my hand?” $10k worth of damage later, he walks out, and being an honest man, leaves the unpaid for crowbar behind. My hero!

I’d like to take a moment to welcome Moonspun to the blogging world. She has an interesting outlook on the world, and I can’t wait to hear her voice ring loud.

Enough for now….

(hey! You there – I see you lurking… pipe up and say hi!)

Rep. Bob Allen cites fear of black men, weather in oral sex arrest

Yeah – more reason the Republicans are the moral guardians of the US. Fucking hypocrites. What’s this make? 3 of them tagged this year?

Rep. Bob Allen cites fear of black men, weather in oral sex arrest: \\”Mark Frauenfelder: Representative Bob Allen, a Republican in the Florida House of Representatives, blamed the weather and his fear of black men for offering $20 to perform oral sex on a man in a public park. The man turned out to be an undercover police officer, who promptly arrested Allen.
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