Quote of the fucking week

Tuesday, January 27th, 2009

Out of left field comes this:

I felt the audiophile CD. But it wasn’t warm. It was a silicone tit, not the real thing. Real boobs sag. The girls think we hate this. Along with stretchmarks and that roll of fat around their middle. Whereas this makes girls real. They’re built with a higher percentage of body fat. They’re made to give birth, to nurture. Who’d want to sleep with a ten year old boy? A STARVING ten year old boy?

A woman built for the media orders a salad and picks at it. A real woman savors her food, she evidences sensuality. Something that’s hard to see, but all men pick up on. The same way it’s hard to quantify why vinyl sounds so much better than CDs. You just FEEL IT!

From Bob Lefsetz, a cranky old A&R/Music industry guy.

He sums up something I’ve been saying for years. Yeah, I know I’m not the only one. But, it’s something that’s been on my mind alot since a conversation at work last week. One of my coworkers is in his late 20’s – and has never had a girlfriend. Here’s the deal – he’s more bear than Brad, if you catch my drift. Yet, if a woman is more the 5′5″ and 120lbs – she’s “unattractive”, and would never do. IMNSHO, he has reduced the field of possible applicants for the position of girlfriend to less than one percent, because of his buy-in to the media’s ridiculous female image. First up, there the problem of finding a breathing human who actually looks like that – when the “models” don’t even. They’re made up, strapped in, taped up and photoshopped beyond belief. They have surgery, injections, eating disorders. They are made, not grown. Add to that that that type of superficial female human will generally have the same falsified “ideal man”, and the shaggy haired, bearded 5′10″ 250 pound guy has a negligible chance of ever meeting MS. Right.

When I mentioned that, his response was, “Oh, so I should just settle for someone who doesn’t meet my standards, then.” No, dude – your standards are unrealistic. Examine them and adjust them to the real world – or follow the road of plastic surgery, extreme dieting and move to where the “pretty people” live. Change yourself one way or the other.

I told him that some of the coolest chicks in the world hang out at Renn Faires – and his response was those chicks are all fat and scary. Yep some women at Faire are definately obese. Some horrendously so. Most are not. And if by scary, you mean unafraid to be themselves, to assert themselves, to be interested in more than soap operas, hair salons and keeping house, yep.

Bah. Fuck drag racing. I’ll stick to rally racing. Curves, hills, valleys and interesting scenery along the way. The journey becomes the destination – and the long winding road is the best way to get there.

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The single most annoying thing about being a parent

Friday, January 9th, 2009

Is, simply put, that you have to plan sex. Can’t have the spontaneous bend her over the arm of the couch, yank your pants down, go hard and fast until there’s screams of pleasure, then collapse in a sweaty, happy heap kind of fucking I suddenly have been craving.

I suddenly realize that there is truth to the rumor about why scotsmen wear kilts.

Oh, and no, there’s no news about the car.

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By popular request, it’s education time again

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

A few people who’ve been pointed this way looking for the “Very Educational” video have told me they can’t find it. The site that hosted it finally allows embedding, so here it is (more…)

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