The single most annoying thing about being a parent

Is, simply put, that you have to plan sex. Can’t have the spontaneous bend her over the arm of the couch, yank your pants down, go hard and fast until there’s screams of pleasure, then collapse in a sweaty, happy heap kind of fucking I suddenly have been craving.

I suddenly realize that there is truth to the rumor about why scotsmen wear kilts.

Oh, and no, there’s no news about the car.